Guest Post

By: Zisiga

Coming back to Nairobi after 10months, I didn’t know what to expect. I missed the commotion that made Nairobi, Nairobi. When trying to describe the traffic scene to some of my mzungu friends, you could see as their blue and green eyes all looked at me in horror. I imagined their thoughts as they politely said, “Oh, it must be crazy”- (read: Wow this poor African(note: I say African because I in most American eyes there is no distinction between Kenya and Zimbabwe. Ghana and Mauritius. Africa is just one big country) How do you explain the energy of the matatus, I say this with a bit of bitterness, no thanks to the conductor who decided to charge me 10bob extra because of LIGHT RAIN. As I was saying…how to you explain how traffic still moves without the necessarily obeying everything you did (or didn’t) learn in driving school.
However I have noticed a few new things…This young generation of do-everythings’s. I have a friend who is a (so called) rapper, photographer, fashion blogger/seller, video blogger and everything else you think he can be. Compliment him on the way he walks…and “oh you didn’t know, I also model”. Did I miss some training academy that when I was away? Either that or there must be some food that must be going round that I need to get on. But seriously people. Since when does having a DS camera and being able to use the basic editing programs enable you to call yourself a professional photographer? I must commend this young generation for being the one to finally change the fashion scene. Long gone(or so I hope) are the days when it was accepted to wear the same colored skinny jeans, with your Ray n Pens(Roy n Bon , Ray n Pon..insert whatever rendition you have seen).
So I am walking home and there is this power pole that has fallen on a truck and there are electric cables have snapped. The logical and safe thing would be to cross on the other side of the truck where there is no chance of being electrocuted. Problem is that there are cars on the other side. I stood and waited for the cars to all pass. As I waited. A child with her mother passed under the line. I held my breath and watched another man pass. Haha, then I felt stupid. What Barbie stunts was I trying? In Nairobi. In Kenya. Life goes on. And without thinking about it. I passed under the powerlines and fallen pole.
But there is no place no place like home. There is no place like Kenya. Also, I wonder if I could also run for president? Maybe?
 

Mermaid theory

Sebastian the 'crab'

little mermaid

Remember the little mermaid that cartoon gave me grief during my childhood all because of Sebastian the crab..all because we shared the same name.  same spelling and all. as a kid your would rather be named after a super hero ,like Clerk not a crab. though this post is not about my childhood,i will leave that to my wife.
The cold rainy season has got me all nononononononono....those aren't enough to really paint my sentiment. The cold weather means no sun dresses or skimpy clothing especially when the Nairobi sun was out,wearing your skin seemed torture enough.  Its been a harsh year too that has me considering to even get a girl friend. So it didn't hurt to (kula na macho) women in them dress with lots of skin showing. Now its just overcast & cold which prompts women to wear heavy and I lose my site seeing. Plus cold weather is baby making weather & if you don't have a significant other its even worse if you catch my drift( not a good word to use in this scenerio considering we have been having cold draft(past tense of drift i think).Make it worse, the level I am at on angry bird has a beach setup,not the list bit soothing. Am stricking out & when I finally free the birds it not even  3 stars.

Such is a time when the mermaid theory sets in motion (Cc. How i met your mother- barney stinson explains sailors used to stay too long at sea without any site of women or companionship & it got to them such that manatees looked like half lady half fish-mermaids)in regards to the modern age when even a woman you would never consider starts looking much much appealing(without any alcoholic influence).....its like back when hormones where in over drive & most teens preyed on their mbochez.(many of you guys know what am talking about,best keep secrets am sure wink) lucky I had a lot of self respect still do.


                 ( comparing the two....you can only imagine what was going through their minds.)
Though the thoughts , you can't really control them. Example watching big cat diaries,apparently leopards mating is something rare so when they caught it on video, takes less than a minute but several times,shit was hot. Then it dawned on me..am really at a bad place. Make it worse I get hit on by some gay guy. Major inverse of the shaft on my part. strictly because of research  blog purposes I had to tolerate the guy so that would be another post for another time blogsphere. When the hunter becomes the hunted. maybe i will catch a break soon but for now.......cold weather will just have to conquered maybe with alcoholism. Later blogsphere, enjoy the week.

Facts

Fact: In a swimming pool or shower white women just look really comfortable as if their natural habitat. I could swear I went swimming, just before the cold rainy month came upon us &for sure its like I was fighting with the water,then this white chic in a two piece& everything after sun bathing,applying sun cream so majestically & relaxed. I was enjoying the same sun especially after a dip in the pool came out shivering but first difference. Nilikuwa na parara aje....vaseline was the only cure unlike the white chics sun screen & which was being applied so gracefully. Next to her some kawaida looking 'appreciated skin women were applying oil but it looked so local 'fujo nyingi'. When the girl got into the water it was like she was gliding & floating at the same time,reflecting back to my swim its like I was dead weight.
 Just when I thought I was the only one,the darker skinned ladies got in,tag team syke because the actually needed it. First the hustle for their hair not to get too wet so they cant deep or submerge their heads completely though unlike the white chic who could submerge her self without any stress,_her head stayed afloat at will. The black's seemed like anchors for real and depended on the side railings. Though am sure on the dance floor the difficulty would be reverse roles. Am not a big fan of weaves though,its like telling or demanding a guy to be real while the whole while you been tricking him. Especially when the weave goes stall or stays too long,gag reflect right there to the thought,yuck. The smell and amount of wild life it can bear is just disgusting to think about.apparently white women put them but atleast they can match their actual hair color(but they do clip on's from research).

HAHAHAHAHA the weaves are too much

 Women in dreads,blowout to their actual hair or wahu Afro definitely moto & those piece hair styles look hot for sure.(was a big fan of corn rows),prefer them for wigs especially in a hot season,it like an itchy Marvin.

bob & weave or else that.

Bob & weave(evasive measure in boxing but applicable  on weaves) . Its hard times but #itsneverthatserious. Very few good weaves,my be Celebes like Pierra & hollywwod stars or musician -beyonce or the chics on 10 over 10 naeto c Video. : )
Another fact,white women are hot @their prime but the black coloured age like wine. They can't definitely gerrit in their 40's if they are well maintained.

something like this 

Men look at things the can't really do like nails hair eyebrows & lashes so the prettier they are maintained the more attention & classy a guy like me would get attracted. Another important point,a woman should have her signature scent,too dawn important.as guys we may have but most guys strive not to smell sweaty musky so Brut is key.
Other fancy ones though are reserved for important occasion but if you have that wife or main lady, if she is hot she is the ultimate acccessory a man needs. They say money talks so you can know how a person is doing by the way they look.
 What do I know though....

 TPF is here,been catching a glimpse of the reruns but just recently found out a big name @silvianjoki got the gig to be the Official stylist for Tusker project fame. Mutlitalented lady from styling to video blogging ,she undoubtedly has impeccable sense of style. Can't wait to see what she has in store from what the judges contestants and presenters are wearing #TPF5. I just hope their singing will match their trendy look. definitely auditions are a comic.
Enjoy the rest of the week blogsphere.