Inceptious pastors

Unlike guys from inception which in the movie meant plant in an idea, these pastors don't get their hair or wear trendy suits but they definitely mess with peoples heads and feed on their dreams and hopes. They were professed to show up, in the end of days. Preaching about false gods. Though lately a breed of miracle performing heart swaying crowd moving pastor with(what I honestly think are made up) doctorates and what not .pastor Dea- miracle babies then helicopter church( most distinct element about him was the white suit and he came during the time the sun had seemingly moved closer to Nairobi (it was freaking hot) but the guy withstood the heat in his clown of a suit and preached. From somewhat a zero to a Prado Range rover driving hero for masses of people.  I couldn't believe seeing how his preaching rallies were filled( talk about Jesus feeding guys with two fish and a loaf of bread). This guys was just feeding them with the actual word of God and a load of crap after for the people to send him money. That's the worst part, they have such good knowledge on the word of God( Bible as the key tool so can't really put them as false prophets just con-men). The helicopter guy sometime while I was channel surfing, in his church after a period of time had bouncer, get this muscled lemon eated( inside joke but wamekula ndimu) hard faced intimidating men at the door. They were not there for purposes of security for bomb threats, noooo hardly even then rotating screens all through they're church' vicinity. My bad if you don't find any thing wrong with that but the only joints in my day with such was the club and at that while screens where highly a big investment and a big deal.   Achmed the dead terrorist Right now it understandable to find some form of security considering there have been a string of robberies affiliated with church's. The thugs target worshipping areas. Now to me that's wrong especially since such an act is adrenaline stimulated, so I guess some of them pray to God the robbery goes smoothly. I guess they found robbing houses or car jacking too mainstream, cow dung much. Then there the terrorist who are targeting churches, really there has to be some unspoken rule even in war fair( women at this point can relate better, they have so many). Anyway, in my opinion places of worship should just be out of bounce, have some style and be creative and go out in a boom......metaphorically and literally. Thinking about it,its said Africa is one the most suffering continent yet the most hopeful and optimistic considering how people believe in God to grant them mercies. Nigeria for example even with a cold war between Muslims & Christians, there are a record number of fake miracle pastor performing acts and now they may have found a new market.Its to a point that guys like the pastor Dea is banking on on such hopes like those couple who were in need of babies, he took advantage of that need and purchased babies from ungrateful parents and yet he was a miracle worker. The guy was just a freaking broker with the power of language. looking at it critically this guys have the power of language and persuasion, them and politicians look like some shoe sole but the women or husbands they get (CC. Tero from straight up, Ester Arunga, finger of God, the mama from starehe constituency,she found fame fortune and power then the ka- husband, skinny man,camera shy showed up before she could marry a new rich fling. This guys come to think of it are the kardashians in our market (drama). keeping up with the pastors The past recent week while I was in town rushing to a job interview, passing those sides of ambassador/archives next to the Mr. Price & the new erected statue of a form great Luo man( not sure who it is but after Gormahia win a game they parade off round the fallen hero supporting in their colourful dressing while in song and dance usually go and somewhat pay their respects to the recognised fallen hero. now the place is like a transformed mobile church or that's the initiation for the upcoming pastors seemingly. I.e women reading that how you give direction or detailed description of a place but that's a post for another day). Sorry I regress, so while I was passing there I didn't see two or three so called pastor but five preaching to the jobless guys seated guys. Some obvious characteristics- 1. Monkey or penguin of a suit: they either have a colour clashing clothing that's hasn't been in season since maybe the 70's or a full full over sized suit (notable by the sleeves of the coat, I think its on purpose to hide the Bible at hand considering it's their tool of work especially those who get in the hoppers and you peaceful bus ride turns to an awkward stare down since its so hard to look away). The oversize makes them look like penguins especially if its black and white in colour. 2. Dusty shoes.....I really think they walk to work. 3. Preacher voice: they go on and on most part of the day and you wouldn't find a bottle of water next to them, how they do it still puzzles me, that's a miracle right there. 4. Deep throat voice ( all you that have had an evil thinking by the word deep throat- format your brain windows 8 is out. So they have this similar voice even women, yep now women are taking up the trade, near Mr. Price there's a woman with her corner. 5. Small bodies : just had an oooohh ahah moment. That's why their suits are always over sized and they have alot alot to say...( its known, this small guys talk excessively  even in rugby the smallest guy in the pitch has a pair of lungs on them). Its a compensating thing am guessing examples wheezy,Bobby Valentino, Kevin Hart ( soul plane actor). 6. A special pair of lungs.....to be able to talk all day or most part of it can not be easy. 7. Humble mode: when they ask you for what they really want, money. 8. They carry stuff in those heavy duty paper bags with funny colours especially in green or a worn out folder bag. Usually might had a running with a cobbler to fix the zip or a patch up. Or they carry both. 9. They are good at ambushing, like when your mind your business in a Hopper and its clearly written no preaching, they just sneak in. I think they should have been given the job to infiltrate Somali on the war of terrorism. They would have done great. The above were the small timers, the other high earners- 1. They drive/own and brag about their SUV's. Hypocrites, they don't even have sympathy towards the environment. 2.They have bouncers, grizzly ones that walk them like they are MP's. Some of them went on to be mp's actually.( that's a no brainer for those of you who have the slightest ongoing of what's going on in politics). 4. Sketchy background mostly they are from some poor shocking background.  5. They emasculate themselves with large titles and prefixes on the names. Example#pastorNjoro & Hon.Doc.Bishop Margret Wanjiru. 6. They have an immensely large following and usually start from a tent and progress to a large crusade or even places that are bars by night church by day or just next to a bar. Example one next to brew bistro that just suddenly came up.  Common characteristic of all of them, they beg or persuade the masses to fatten their pockets( tax free mind you, haven't quite yet felt the taxation pinch but when I do I will sure be writing about it). All I can do is heed a warning and beware of fraudsters. Just recently watched the investigative piece on the news where even the crippled are at it. Can't be too careful but at least don't follow blindly and look at things and deals from every possible angle, follow through and if its too good to be true, think twice. Sign off with a song that be on repeat and probably appropriate in relation to the post: Amen- meek mill ft Drake & Jeremiah. Apologises for the loing time without a post but this is my 30th post so far so had to be big.....literally &metaphorically. Still many more to come but be sure to follow me on twitter handle :@Sebby12th and Facebook: Sebastian Sebby Wasike. Cheers Blogsphere.